bə-lō'nē mō'gəls(n.pl.) 1. A group of drinkers with a shredding problem. 2. The combination of snow, booze, and metal.


Snowbird Day 1 (Boloney Blasts UT)

Day 1.

On 3 hours of sleep we woke our asses up at 6 A.M. to multiple alarms. The best of course was the Love is Gone techno wakeup on TK's phone. After a shockingly good continental breakfast, we successfully bored the UTA bus and off to Snowbird we were.

Arriving at 8:15 guaranteed a long amazing day of riding.

Snowbird is truly just an amazing place. You're standing surrounded by gigantic mountains everywhere you look and every view is better than the last. The resort itself is top notch. Awesome facilities and really just a place you could be cool hanging out at even if you didn't want to ski.

To the riding:

It was good. Very good. I hazard to say, it was the best day of riding in my life. Nay, it was the best day of my life. The whole crew just shredded everything. Open a dictionary. Turn to the definition of steep. It is a picture of the slopes of Snowboard. Or as I prefer to call them, sheer vertical drops.

The "awful" conditions the locals were bitching about were amazing. Deep powder still to be found. Great bowl running. And the kicker was it was nearly 50 degrees. We were all "ski the east" ready. Decked out in thermals, heavy gloves, fleeces. After one run down the Mineral Basin we were soaked and dying of heat. With great haste we stripped down and got down to business the rest of the day.

To many highlights to really talk about here because near beer is calling.

But just to tease before I have a chance to elaborate, I was 2 feet away from bombing off a 50 foot cliff in the Great Scott area under the tram. I was just getting so used to everything being uber-steep I didn't realize what I was rolling up to until I heard Dong and TK scream "GOOO BACK STOP STOP STOP." Whoops! I definitely got myself caught in some sicky gnar gnar but it was very fun freaking everyone out with my near death.

Tons of pics here.

More to follow.

Brighton (Boloney Blasts UT)

During Boloney Moguls' second day of riding in Utah, we hit up Brighton. Common opinion is that it's "small," "not that good," and mostly just locals. Turns out these bitches out here are all spoiled as hill. After our bus ride down to the hill we found some of the gnarliest natural terrain we've ever been in. The entire mountain is basically one huge natty playground. Features are abundant. Jumps, cliffs, trees, powder, and pleasure are in abundance. It also is so large and so diverse that every part of the hill feels like a different place altogether. Over on the left side of the mountain you get a Jay Peak sort type of run: Steep trees, powder, steep everything else. Over on the opposite side of the mountain you get amazing natural bowls covered in natural kickers, absolutely huge cliffs, tree runs, natural half-pipes.

It was a long day for sure, but a day well spent. First chair at 9:00 A.M., last chair at 3:30 P.M. Some of the best tree runs and bowl play any of us have seen and the fact that just so many different things were possible there made it an adventure for us all.

Some highlights:
We're about to drop into "Rein's Run," one of the steepest things at least I have ever seen. Then, out from behind us a guy BOMBS past us, miscalculates, and completely falls apart. Legs split. Skis go up in the air, and on the steepest of steep he starts tumbling out of control head over heels. Unfortunately, the video doesn't include the crash, only our reactions.

Jumping off a few cliffs here and there. Always fun, always awesome.

Our adventure out of bounds. Cutting all the way to the right side of the mountain, we cut out and then found ourselves at "Dog Lake." We hikes around a little, saw some even steeper drops and cliffs, crushed a few beers, and completely just took in the amazing views afforded.

Look for pics from today here. And the deth vid from Rein's Run will be up shortly on the treeoil22 channel at youtube.


UTAH Bound (Who Wants to Live Forever?)

Boloney Moguls is off to blast UTAH hard.

The attack plan:
1. Leave from points east in New York and Washington, D.C.
2. Get sauced in airports from HOTlanta to Dallas
3. Arrive in SLC and commence operation Slaughter Salt Lake
4. Confer with Bobby Sharp about taking over the Days Inn South in lovey Midvale, Utah
5. Wake up ass early and ride SnowBird
6. Shred in what looks to be some epic bluebird days
7. Attempt to avoid the onslaught of avalanches
6. Apres-ski extremely hard
7. Repeat steps 5-6 3x
8. Cram several trips to hooters in


Boloners off to UTAH (Pukey Poems II)

With three Boloners getting ready for an out WEST trip to UTAH for a few days, Pukey has graced us with another poem:

Another epic weekend has come and gone,
celebrating the births of DK and Dong.
Now in only 24 hours to Utah some boloners will go,
to shred in some fluffy western snow.
They'll walk from the Days Inn South through an abandoned lot,
to get to Hooters where the wings ARE the only things that are hot ;)
While I'm stuck at work and the arctic weather here,
you'll be raging and rocking and reaching for a near beer.
Home just in time for Barry's big day,
Who the fuck cares?! Sleep the day away!
I may seem a bit bitter but have a great trip,
and have fun in the pow pow that looks like cool wHHHip!!!


BriDK 09 (Starters/Onesies/Mustaches)

Pukey said it best: "Nobody knows what's going on."

Sometime Saturday evening if one was to spy through the icy windows of G305 their heads would pop from shear confusion. DK, after already shaving the Hogan Horseshoe into his head was getting his hair dyed by a pro hair technician, and I should say, was also getting his sweet facial hair dyed. Power Seen was a robot sent from the Future to terminate John Connor with advanced armor. DethMetal Messehy showed up for a rendition of Since U Been Gone that brought the house down. A glory hole appeared. A whole lot of coffee creamer was snorted. Chester the Molester, aka Dong Stoole, aka Freddie Mercury showed up. Nuts were slapped. Necks were zapped, once, twice, three times. And hair was burnt.

Oh, and a strobe light was pulsating the entire time leading to severe eye and brain damage.

As to the shredding. It was good. It was very good. Saturday saw conditions at Pico which ranged from some nice groomed corduroy close to the lifts, but the remainder of the mountain was left over super fluffy pow pow. The game quickly became ruining every powder stash left on the trails, whether dipping into the woods or just power seening all over the sides of runs. There was certainly much left too. Pukey had several yardsales, but everyone rode well due to heavy doses of A.M. lift brews as well as lunch BBDubs.

To enhance the day's riding, the crew went old school. I'm talking '90's Starter Jackets, graciously gathered by none other than Dong Stoole. The starter gang tore up the mountain most of the day and didn't take crap from anyone. Staters are a tough gang and you don't want to cross them. You've been warned.

Later in the evening it started snowing and didn't stop until sometime around lunch on Sunday. The whole mountain got a great 6+ inch cover of the super cold and fluffy which made for the best conditions one can get in the North East, besides super pow. On this day, the onsie crew came out. Equipped with cornoa-scorching proskibum equipment, shredding occurred. With the new snow it was like riding out West. Cutting in and out of the trees, many great lines were had. Before Big Blue Blew It, the gang did a sick run down the Poma Trail. Because there was so much snow everywhere as opposed to other years, no hiking was required, to everyone's satisfaction.

All and all, BriDKFest 09 was a supreme way to bring in the new year for those two boloners. Happy Birthday. You've both shocked everyone by surviving yet another year.

One additional story that won't tell itself, the delivery man. Oh, that poor guy. So a G305 full of Boloners got very hungry after eating a ton of pootine and needed fuel. Pizza Jerks was the answer. Freddie calls em up, and they promptly say they aren't delivering anymore. His response? "But, I'm hungry." That cleverly worded argument got them to come all the way out. The driver did not know what he was in store for. Freddie Mercury sipping wine with his mustache, loud euro trash dance party, Power Seen coated in coffee creamer and foil. That poor guy.

Pics can be accessed on the right, and videos can be accessed here.


Boloney Moguls Assemble!!!!!! (Jackson Hole Crew)

We're going to Jacksonnnnnnnn
Look out Jackson Town

Since U Been Gone