bə-lō'nē mō'gəls(n.pl.) 1. A group of drinkers with a shredding problem. 2. The combination of snow, booze, and metal.


Gala '08 Vids (Mini Shred, Max Sloppy)

For your viewing pleasure, a few of the longer vids that couldn't make it into the picasa gallery:

Dong Stoole Being a Frothy Liar:

The Greatest Poem Ever:

And the Winner of the evening: Slowdance

Bonus Video - "Shredding" at WindHHam

Boloney Goes Formal (Mini Shred, Max Style)

To ring in the New Year with style, Boloney Moguls held a raging NYE Gala at Dong Stoole's home. Drinks were had, merriment occurred, and as usual, we were unable to make it into 2009 without one rendition of Dechristianize.

The backyard mini shred was certainly a sight to see, especially because BP was so "merry" that he couldn't even make it off the roll in without eating it very, very hard.

And in case you missed it, Pukey wrote up - and performed - quite the New Year's poem to encourage one Power Seen to make yet another trek from D.C. and attend.
twas the night before new year's and all through trafalgar square,
boloneys raged and burnt each other's chest hair.
gala '08 was a night not to be missed,
when that shiny ball drops someone is gonna get kissed.
dresses, vests, and flashy shirts were worn,
over the decision to come up, power seen was torn.
coors originals and creamy beige will surely will be in stock,
just make sure bp doesn't kick you in the cock.
'don't stop me now', i'm just getting started,
the morning after someone will surely have "pre-shit-farted".
raging and drinking and debauchery all night long,
thanks to the wonderful planning of a gracious host named dong.
queen will blare and pukey will cook,
and then snuggle up in a nice little nook.
so bring out your finest and ring in the the new year,
come on, power seen, you know you wanna be here...

The night was capped off with a supreme Bindy run. For those who do not know, the Bindy is the one sandwich to rule them all. It is a delicate balance of old, tired, and tough fried chicken cutlets. A healthy dose of American cheese. The most burnt and leathery bacon available. And finally covered in a heaping dose of a most hardy of Russian dressings.

And here's a link to the last photos of 08 and the first of 09.

Next stop VT for the next chapter in Bri/DK fest, then Utah for the BIRD. 09 is not going to be able to handle being Boloned this year.


Sweden's War on Apres-Skiing (Or How Boloney Can't Go To Sweden)

Looks like there is another country Boloney Moguls can no longer go to, Sweden. Read below and here:

Police plan to rent the container from a car club in nearby Höljes. The club uses the container in the summers for housing inebriated rally cross enthusiasts during the European championship week.

The container will be located in a fenced-off area at a garage owned by the National Road Administration (Vägverket) just five kilometres from the ski hill, enabling police to take a tougher line with unruly skiers.

"We are going to increase our presence in Branäs and will lower the threshold for an arrest. We are probably the first in Sweden to do this," said Peter Åkerström at Värmland's police to VF.

Currently the closest cell available for the detainment of tipsy tourists is in Karlstad, a two and a half hour round trip which uses up limited police resources.

"Branäs is located a bit out of the way. People go there to party and have fun. It is probably not quite as fun to wake up in a detention container," warned Åkerström.

Accommodation in the small red container is not however devoid of creature comforts for sobering skiers and is equipped with ventilation, a simple drainage system and a hole in the middle of the floor where overnight inmates will be able to perform their ablutions.

The safety of the detainees has also been taken into account and the container will be furnished with fire-proofed mattresses for rest and recuperation and equipped with an inspection window.

Police will make use of the facility until the Branäs alpine area closes after the Easter weekend.

Jackson Hole: The Most Metal Mountain Ever? ('Lanches, 'Lanches, and More 'Lanches)

In this installment of The Most Metal Mountain Ever, we look at Jackson Hole, WY.

It has been discussed before, whether in looking at there new tram, the insane terrain, or just the fact that Boloney Moguls will be there March 1st (and soon killed).

But in the course of a few days, they've had a fatal avalanche on inbounds (and easily accessible) terrain, 62 inches of snow in seven days, and now a double avalanche in a similar area that was so big it hit a base facility housing three restaurants causing "considerable non-structural damage to the building." I hope that means the Rumpleminze in the bar is still okay.

The fatal avalanche was on Saturday in the "Toile
t Bowl" on the trail called "Paint Brush." Jackson is pretty badass though, even with eight feet of snow covering, and all that terrain, they were able to locate the deceased in 6 minutes. So that informs us Boloners that as long as a monster tree or slab of ice doesn't hit us in a 'lanche, we'll only be slightly chilled for the inevitable apres-ski drinking that will follow.

The avalanches yesterday hit the headwall when ski patrol was clearing things out, which then
triggered a second avalanche smacking into the bar - I'm assuming the facility they talk about is the one at the gondola summit. This hit had them close the whole resort for a few hours, and then later only open the lower part of the mountain.

I don't know if this competition will even have to go on anymore. Tha
t place is pretty metal.


The Evolution of Man (Stepping back in time, to the future, in the past)

December 2005
(No Boloney)
December 2008
(Lotsa Boloney)

Super Pow (or how Power Seen missed out...)

Despite all of his hopes, Power Seen was incorrect in reporting the untimely and violent demise of a snowbound Boloney Moguls. Much to the contrary, the crew (minus one Power Seen of course) braved the elements to arrive in Vermont on the evening of Dec. 19th, just in time to settle in for 3 continuous days of heavy snow. When it was over, 47 inches had piled up over the previous 7 days, and thanks to Pico Mountains late opening, much of that remained untouched and waiting. The conditions were epic, probably the best any of us had seen, with consistent knee deep freshies all over Pico and Killington. The storm kept most of us there Sunday night, and I must say, the only thing better than a powder Saturday or a powder Sunday, is a powder Monday. Full photo coverage can be found here.
And did I mention that Power Seen wasn't there?

Better luck next time.