bə-lō'nē mō'gəls(n.pl.) 1. A group of drinkers with a shredding problem. 2. The combination of snow, booze, and metal.


Whistler Blackcomb: The Most Metal Mountain Ever? (Tumblin' Gondolas)

A contender now emerges from the "True North" in the next installment of The Most Metal Mountain Ever: Whistler Blackcomb.

The good:
  • Two mountains, one resort - Nearly an 8000 foot altitude on both Whistler and Blackcomb.
  • 10,000 feet of vertical spread between the two peaks.
  • Over 200 trails
  • Gondolas that take breaks from time to time with the whole "not falling down and stranding 53 riders" thing.
Wait, WHAT??

So it seems that in a freak accident of some sort, a gondola tower - which was built in two pieces, surprisingly snapped in half - with 30 cars on the wire. Don't worry though, as CNN reports "at least two gondola cars hit the ground after the accident, both from relatively low heights near the tower that split and caused the system's heavy cable line to slacken."

Whistler sure knows how to bring the excitement to the ski hill, they even make the gondola rides more thrilling: "One hit a bus stop and the other hit a house," Noble said. "Another one was suspended over a creek, but everyone is out of that car."

And then, there's this frenchie: "Plante, from Vancouver, was visiting the ski resort when the gondola snapped. Plante said he planned to go skiing Tuesday morning, but changed his mind." Changed his mind??? Really, after everything this mountain offers, especially the radical cable car rides into freezing abysses? You're going to turn that sort of service down? Shame on you, you hockey-loving, poutine-eating Canuck. You sir, have wasted an opportunity for a granly day.

When Moot Assbute finishes construction (delays, cost-overruns, and beer attacks stifle progress), I for one, will guarantee detachable tower gondolas on the premises. And, you'll never know if you're in the lucky gondola car that will land in the bar when the tower snaps or the fiery pit of despair.

But I digress. It certainly seems as though the wonder from up yonder could in fact be the Most Metal Mountain Ever, but there are some cons.

First of all, the mountain is in Canada. The only good things to come out of Canada are Les Stroud and poutine. Well really, that seems to be the only thing stopping the mountain from achieving some of the highest marks yet received in this competition.

In summary Whistler Blackcomb is clearly one of the Most Metal Mountains ever and this incident is sure to keep it high on the list. Now to find some poutine.

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