A Lull in the Action (Not for Long)

February, at least for one Seen always sees a downturn in the action for the inevitable destruction that will be the big March trip. Just an FYI there, Jackson just hit 300 inches.

This Feb will be different though. The majority of Boloney is headed to G305 for a weekend of debauchery, shredding, and bad fashion. (and hopefully some gnarly filming)

Pico / Killington / Sugarbush update:

Pico - currently a balmy 3 degrees. And what's that howling? Oh, of course. It is the lovely Vermont wind that makes Pico famous and frostbitting. No new major snow since the huge dumping last week, but they have snow on the radar for saturday, sunday. Powder Monday anyone?

Killington - 7 degrees, feels like -8, but you won't feel a thing. Oh how Killington is lovely this time of year. Of course, Killy will likely get the same weather Pico gets, but will be way icyer because of the crowds.

Sugarbush - Sunny and 8 degrees. Well atleast you don't have to worry about your beer getting warmer. A 175 inch base and they got two feet in the last week. Not too shabby. If I was going up to VT, I think this would be a great spot on Saturday.

Well on the other hand, this guy is going to shred some real sicky gnar gnar (weather permitting). I have to say "weather permitting" because in the Mid-Atlantic, it rains during Febuary. Yes. Rain. In the middle of the damn winter.

The target for this weekend: Seven Springs. Southern PA's premier resort for sucking ass. A 3 1/2 hour drive for a 750 ft vertical. Trails almost three quarters of a mile! And crowds, oh the crowds. Let's keep our fingers crossed because I'm sure it will be epic!

President's Day weekend is shaping up to be a good one. With much nomading, most of the gang will be crashing at CT's place in VT. Should be a sick weekend of hot-tubbing, Okemo-ing, and Magic Mountain - ING.

All told - this is just a warmup. Jackson Hole is on everyone's radar and it can't come soon enough. Boloney Moguls is hungry, hungry for altitude and delicious out-West POW POW.

The riding never stops.

Boloney Moguls 09/08: None More Blacker (Coming Spring '09 to Kill You)

More metal than humanly and humanely possible, the Boloney Moguls vid “None More Blacker” is currently on location filming and is in the early phases of editing. This year’s thrilling odyssey sees Boloney Moguls tearing up hills from Pennsylvania to Vermont, from Utah to Wyoming. Such hotels ravaged in this offering include the SLL (Snow Lake Lodge for the unfamiliar) the DIS (Days Inn South) and many, many more. What happens when you combine altitude and alcohol? Boloney happens and Greatness emerges.

Be prepared for a roller coaster ride of Onesies, Weaponry, burning hair, slight man on man, antics and alcohol, metal and of course, a whole lot of shredding.

This year’s cast of characters, skiers, riders, and shredders includes the industry staples TK, DK, Dong Stoole, Power Seen, Browntown himself, Metal Meeschey, and Cappa. Making their first Boloney appearances, Pukey and aTheFilter. And of course, many, many more.

Already over budget and over indulgent, this year’s sure to be smash hit thrill ride has destroyed cameras, gear, and livers. Be sure to stay tuned for more updates and teasers.

Jackson Hole Countdown (32 Days to Death)

In 32 Days, Boloney is off to Jackson Hole.

Current conditions: RAD with strong chances of Gnarly
Temps at the Summit: -10 with 18 MPH winds
Snow: 19 inches in the last 72 hours
YTD Snowfall: 284 inches

Snowbird Termination (A Machine from the Future – Sent to Shred)

From the future came a hero, or a villain. It is impossible to know its source, but at 8:15 A.M. Mountain Time at Snowbird, a robot from the future appeared. Constructed from advanced metals and adhesive, equipped with a functioning reverse tranceiver-receiver his mission was clear: to Terminate.

Without warning, it struck. Searching for John Conor and epic pow, it shredded unlike any other hunter killer time travel has. Fast turns on hard pack with mind-ray-reading deflective equipment in place, it was a machine not to be reckoned with.

Terminators on your mountain: A threat more common than you think.

Snowboard Travel (Proskibum Moves)

AtheFilter has alerted us to a truly proskibum way of transporting your gear:


Several things to point out:
- Boots are strapped into snowboards
- It is clearly raining out
- The Jeep is from NJ

Boloney Blasts UT: The Feature (Teaser Trailer)

An early cut and preview of what will be an earth-shattering feature.

The Nightlife of SLC (Mormons: Party Enemy Number 1)

Things you cannot do in SLC and Greater Utah:
Drink real beer
Buy real beer
Dance
Smile

Things you can do:
Pray
Be Mormon (Really just an extension of the first bullet)

We should have known better when the Xpress Shuttle driver at 2:00 A.M. responds to my question “are there any bars still open” with maniacal laughter.

Yeah. So SLC is not exactly a party town. First of all it is close to impossible to get real beer. And if you can find real beer by going to one of the few state-run liquor stores it costs a fortune. And I’m not being cheap here. I mean 12$ for a 6 pack. Yea, that sounds reasonable.

What can you get? You can get near beer. Mmmmm. About 3.2 percent alchy, this stuff is piss water. Beer flavored water. Dirty water. It doesn’t make you drunk. It makes you need to pee, constantly. It makes you sluggish and tired. Not exactly party sauce.

To the bars: There aren’t any, by law. There are only “private clubs.” These require a “membership fee” that must be paid on a weekly or monthly basis so that you can then pay them for food and sauce. Awesome, I like that. And remember these “clubs” we paid to become a member to still serve shit beer and won’t pour a drink with more than one shot in it.

So that’s the bad. And it’s a long list. Onto the good:

The Mexican food. Every stripmall seems to have 5 Mexican joints to grab food. TK ran in to one on a smoke break and wouldn’t shutup about the awesomeness he had consumed. Fired up and hungry, more of the gang went the next night and were blown away by the eats. More blown away were my taste buds from eating one of the hottest hot sauces I have ever tried in my entire life.

DIS. The Days Inn South of Midvale. Probably more amazing than a power stash find in the backcountry. Super cheap. Way nicer than we deserve. Right on the bus route to the mountains. And equipped with the ethereal Bobby Sharp: their ghost general manager who haunts the place and only responds to email. Also the continental breakfast was probably one of the biggest surprises of the trip

The Uta Bus. Basically for free, right next to the DIS we could hop onto a bus at 7:15 A.M. and in one hour be at Snowbird, Briton, or Solitude (and Alta for those skier snobs). Generally we could always strike up convos with the drivers or the other people going to the mountains to ride or work. Lot of weird people out in these parts and a hell of a lot of people with some whacked out stories.

We met a guy working at Brighton on the bus who had married a half Paki half Mormon woman two months after he met her. He was odd, but a funny guy.

Our bus the first night coming home on Friday was the man. First of all, we had the bus to ourselves so we could carry on and rockout however we saw fit. Bullshitting with the guy for awhile, we started to close in on the final stop. Instead of just taking us to the bustop, the guy goes “fuck it, where are you guys staying I’ll just drop you there.” Yea, he was well tipped.

In conclusion, do not go to SLC to party. Go there to shred, and bring all your own booze. There are good times to be had there, but sure as hell not at their Moron Private Clubs.